Today I want to discuss a potentially taboo topic. Many people do not discuss finances. However, I have had many women interested in becoming a stay at home wife or mom ask how we live (and thrive) off of one budget. I did not grow up in a family where anyone I knew stayed at home and so I had to learn along the way. I have been a stay at home mom for almost two years now and am going to share my top tips and tricks for how we have made that work.
I want to note that these tips apply to families who share an income, rather than those who keep their finances separate. That is a personal decision that you and your partner need to make and I am not here to tell you what is right for your family. With that out of the way, let's talk about how we live a comfortable life on one income.
We limit going out to eat or drink. Before I was a homemaker my husband and I took an honest look at our spending habits. Turns out the number one thing we were spending our money on was eating out. Not even on date nights or nice experiences. Rather, we were eating fast food frequently. A burger here, an overpriced coffee there, and those things add up quickly! We started making it a habit to eat most of our meals at home or to make lunches to take with us to work. When I began to stay at home with the kids we continued that practice. It has saved us quite a bit of money each month, and when we go out to eat it feels like a treat! We tend to eat out while out of town on vacation, for date nights, or as an experience with our children or friends.
I shop for groceries at Aldi. I am a huge proponent of healthy and balanced eating. I used to believe that to do so I needed to buy expensive superfoods from Whole Foods. If you are able to do so, enjoy! It was not feasible for us. I enjoy Aldi because I can find groceries at some of the best prices and the quality is still great. If you prefer to eat grass fed beef or pasture raised eggs, guess what? They have those as well for far less. I approach grocery shopping each week by meal planning and "shopping" my pantry and refrigerator for any items we haven't used up. You can read more about how I meal plan here. I have also learned over time that balance and incorporating as many food groups as possible helps me to feel my best. I can find all of those items there.
Thrifting is key. Almost all items I buy come from Facebook marketplace, mom selling groups, or thrift stores. Our drinking glasses came from Goodwill, many toys and furniture came from marketplace. Once Upon a Child is a great place to find clothes, cribs, and other items for kids. I have enjoyed thrifting since I was young and I have developed that skill over the years. There is nothing more exciting to me than receiving a compliment on something and letting the person know I bought it at a steep discount! Oftentimes local thrift stores have seasonal decor, and some big chains such as Hobby Lobby have 50% off days. Keep track of deals in your area. I am not saying to buy anything just because it is cheap. You can find good quality items in these stores, have standards just as you would buying new.
I do not replace items until we have run out. Shopping isn't a hobby. That includes shampoo, make up, and clothes. I wear my clothes until I need to replace them. I wear makeup until I run out. I don't buy new items "just to try". I haven't made shopping a hobby. Rather I try to take up other hobbies that don't involve the "high" that comes from impractical purchases. Oftentimes I think people use shopping as a replacement for other things going on in their lives. For example when we first moved to Ohio and I didn't know anyone. I would go to stores to have social interaction. I know that sounds sad, but it is true! I joined clubs and other groups to fulfill that need instead.
Set aside money to treat yourself. The benefit of having a budget is that you know where your money is going. If you talk to your partner and both agree on setting aside $100 a month each to spend any way you want, then that provides you with opportunities to treat yourself and keeps you from feeling limited. Spend it on a coffee here and there, get a pedicure, buy yourself a new purse. Or don't! Save for a few months and then splurge. If this is possible for you, it is a good practice to feel less restricted.
Invest your money. If you are able to, you are never too young to begin investing your money. Do research into what makes the most sense for you and your family. Maxing out your 401K, having mutual funds, investing in rental properties are just some ideas. We try to spend less money now, and save for our future life. We talk about what we want life to look like after retirement and so we spend less today. Some investments can bring in a little extra income without a lot of work on your end.
Be creative with activities or hobbies. You don't always have to spend money to have fun! I like to cook dinner for friends and have them over rather than going out to eat. We sign up our children for free classes at our local library. Every week I like to look at the city calendar or on Facebook events for local festivals. They are often free and fun! This holiday season especially there are many activities for families to attend without having to spend any money.
DIY as much as possible. I make our own hand soap, kitchen sink scrubs, and other items. They take a little extra time to make, but they save us money in the long run.
Use reuseable items. We use microfiber cloths for most of our cleaning reserving paper towels for some jobs (such as cleaning the toilets). I have started using wool dryer balls rather than dryer sheets. I am in the process of changing over to cloth napkins. We only use disposable plates or cups when having large parties. This allows you to use the same items over and over rather than throwing paper items out.
Communicate with your partner. If you share a bank account with your partner, communicate about large purchases. "I am thinking of replacing our sofa, when do you think a good time for that would be?" I am not encouraging someone holding control over you. I am simply making a case for communication, accountability, and budgeting. Make these conversations a monthly practice. When we are at our best my husband and I like to set a monthly budget where we plan out how much we would like to spend on groceries, recreation, bills, etc. This is a time where we also chat about any large purchases we would like to make. We are equal partners in this decision making.
If you are considering staying at home and would like a "practice run" I have often encouraged people to live off of one budget for at least one month, even while both of you are working outside of the home. This will allow you to work out any kinks and discover what works for your family before taking the plunge. Remember: budgeting doesn't have to be restrictive. It is helping you see where your money is going, and determine where you would like to spend it. Saving money on groceries helps you save up for that vacation you've always wanted to take. Buying an item used can free up more finances for things you've always wanted to do or buy. Happy saving!