How I survived 1st trimester

Sounds dramatic, I know. Listen, first trimester is difficult. There is no getting around it. I know it's a miracle that you are growing a little human. I know you may even feel guilty letting other people know you are having a difficult time because there is a misconception that you are somehow ungrateful. You aren't. You are just tired of throwing up, tired of not being able to stomach any food...and just plain tired.

Every pregnancy is different, but I have learned some tips and tricks along the way to help make this one easier for myself. If they can help you too, great!

Give yourself a break. You are doing the best you can.
You are growing a human. Your body is going through so many changes, and that baby is developing at a rapid pace in those first few weeks. The brain and spine began to develop and the heart is now beating. Limbs are forming. Heck, even the baby's nose is starting to take shape. (Read more about development here.) It's no wonder that you might not have the energy to cook a fancy meal. Give yourself a little grace. Your home doesn't have to be perfect, and neither do you. Take some time for a little self care. Rest! I assure you if this is your first, you won't get a lot of rest when the baby is here. Nap or simply be still as often as you can.

Listen to your gut. Literally.
I am a huge proponent of intuitive eating. I could go on about this for a while, but I would suggest doing your own research. A really great blog post all about intuitive eating during pregnancy can be found here. Your body will react the way it does to pregnancy, and that will look differently for everyone. I carry babies differently than other women do, and I have cravings you may not. In fact our eating habits may be in stark contrast to each other. If you are in tune with your body, practice gentle nutrition, and are mindful about your eating then you will gain the amount of weight your body needs. I know I fell into the trap last pregnancy of feeling as if I needed to eat more than I wanted to because I was "eating for two". That isn't a healthy mindset, and frankly it's uncomfortable. Your baby takes up room in your body, and if you are like me then you won't be able to eat that much at a time! I have been eating balanced meals, and I usually eat several smaller meals throughout the day rather than three large ones.

Get your protein in.
Experts recommend 75 to 100 grams of protein a day for pregnant women (source). That is a lot! I have an aversion to meat when I am pregnant, so this is always difficult for me. However, I made a conscious effort this pregnancy to get as much protein in as I could. Turns out I had a much easier time this pregnancy! I know several factors play a role, but I am convinced my nutrition helped ease my symptoms.  Smoothies are your friend in the first trimester. I would often make a protein smoothie with water, chia seeds, frozen fruit, and spinach so that I could pack as many nutrients in as possible. Even when I felt sick, I could always get a smoothie down. Often drinking one would help my blood sugar, and I would be able to eat a small meal about thirty minutes later. Greek yogurt, cheese, eggs, and beans are all good sources of protein.

Blame the hormones.
One stereotype that is founded? You aren't in complete control of your emotions when you are pregnant. Remind yourself that those times where you are irrationally irritable, tearful, or anxious will pass. That isn't to say you can go around being mean to everyone and blaming the pregnancy, but the truth is hormones do crazy things to your moods. I cried over my husband turning down the heat one degree because I told him my bones hurt. I was luckily able to laugh about it and make fun of myself even while it was happening. You aren't being yourself, find the humor in it.

Find your tribe.
You are not alone! I have relied so much more on friends and my support system this time around, and I am glad I did! I asked my husband to pitch in and cook dinner sometimes, I asked people for recommendations on healthcare providers, and I learned to say yes when I was offered assistance with my toddler. The thought of miscarriage is scary, but I would rather have gone through that with people I know, love, and trust than all alone. I shared what I was going through with those closest to me, because I knew I didn't have to suffer in silence.

First trimester recap

As I have mentioned several times I started this blog due to how helpful I found other motherhood blogs during my first pregnancy. Being an eleven hour drive away from my family I often turned to my friends and the internet for support. It only makes sense then for me to share my experiences with this pregnancy in case anyone else does a frantic Google search at two in the morning, because we've all been there.


SYMPTOMS

Nausea - This pregnancy is both very similar to and very different than my first pregnancy. I knew what to expect this time, so I prepared myself. With my first pregnancy I was sick every single day, multiple times a day and often had to carry a discreet bag in my purse with a toothbrush, mouth wash, and change of underwear (I know, sexy).  I have only been sick three times. It may be that my body is used to pregnancy this time around, I am getting more sleep, or because I am taking a different prenatal vitamin. Whatever the cause, it has been a God-send! I feel queasy and icky often, but believe me I would prefer that over what I experienced last time.

Food aversions - I experienced aversions to just about any and every food, specifically meat. Even looking at pictures of food was unpleasant until about the 12 week mark. This is the same as my first pregnancy, often meaning I had to force myself to eat anything my stomach would allow. Luckily I have learned a few tips and tricks to get all of my essential nutrients, which I will share in another blog post. Fortunately my appetite has been returning as of week 12, and I eat several small meals throughout the day.

Fatigue -  has been my most prevalent symptom, and while I certainly experienced it with the first pregnancy I am convinced it's worse because I have a toddler to keep up with! You can't take a nap before dinner when you have a fourteen month old climbing on you. This means the house is less than perfect, and I have been focusing my energy on caring for my daughter, husband, and myself. I have taken time for self care when I can either by resting when my daughter naps, sneaking off for fifteen minutes when my husband gets home, and going to bed earlier. It is upsetting that the house is messy, but my family will be happier if I am taking care of myself because their needs will be met with kindness and compassion.

Exercise has gone out the window, if I am being honest. I respect women who continue to go to the gym when they are in the early stages of pregnancy but my energy levels didn't allow it. I was in survival mode! I went for walks indoors to keep moving, and now that my energy is returning I plan do be more active. Walking actually helped my nausea and lifted my spirits when I felt hormonal. If you are able to exercise avoid any twisting exercises or laying on your back, and keep things simple. I wasn't running before I became pregnant, so I am not going to start running now. I'll go for long walks, do some prenatal exercises at home, and work on both pelvic floor strength and postural strength.

Acne - My skin always becomes very sensitive and dry during pregnancy, so I have simplified my skincare and am using gentle products. I am currently dealing with cystic acne, which is painful and embarrassing, but are a result of all the hormones and changes my body is undergoing! If you have any recommendations on how to treat that, let me know.

Sensitive to smells - Luckily I am not in the early stages of pregnancy during Lent this time around because I cannot be around fish currently. Even thinking about it right now is making me queasy. This was awful when I worked for Catholic Charities and my desk was right next to the kitchen. I had to smell fish once a week! It has been easier to avoid this pregnancy, and I usually just power walk past that section in grocery stores. Cigarette smoke also sends me over the edge, but again no one in my family smokes so I don't smell it often.

Cramping - I always get anxious about cramping in the first trimester. It is important to remember that you are feeling your uterus grow, and it is (usually) completely normal!

I have also experienced some vivid dreams and mood swings, but they haven't been too bad this trimester.


CRAVINGS

As far as cravings go, they are the same as I had before. I crave fruit, especially apples (which I don't like outside of pregnancy) and citrus. Either this baby is a girl, or that is something I will have with each pregnancy! I will be interested to see if there is a correlation. While overall I continue to have an aversion to meat, I do crave a burger every now and then. If I am being honest though, I don't experience cravings like other women seem to. I get moments where something finally sounds good to eat - and I need to take advantage of having an appetite - or certain things tasted better to me, like fruit. I don't wake up in the middle of the night craving things like you see in the movies, and didn't the first time around either.


LOOKING FORWARD TO 2ND TRIMESTER

Yes, we will be finding out the gender of the baby at 20 weeks and no, we don't have any preferences or predictions. We would love for our daughter to have a sister to play with, but would be happy with a brother for her as well! It is so funny because at my 20 week anatomy scan with my daughter I completely forgot about finding out her gender. I was so impressed with how I could see the four chambers of her heart, and how far technology has come! There is something about seeing a beautiful, healthy child that is more special to me than whether they are a girl or a boy.

I am doing things very differently this time around, which I will expand upon in another post. The jist of it is this: I am working with a different team, and planning an unmedicated and (hopefully) intervention free birth. I was "open to whatever" last time, which resulted in an unpleasant hospital induction, as well as several medical interventions where I had absolutely no input. While those interventions may have been necessary (I don't know and will never know, I am not a doctor) they made me feel as if I was not in control of my own body, and didn't have a choice in my labor. I know that I cannot ultimately plan my labor, but I want to take as many steps as I can towards a different experience. We'll chat more about that another time.

Lastly, a confession for you guys: I missed church pretty often in my first trimester. I was often afraid of throwing up in mass, sometimes threw up right before, and sometimes had no energy to look after my toddler during that time. My husband would let me sleep as much as possible during the weekends and often that would mean I slept through Sunday service. I am sharing that because I want to be open and honest about pregnancy, and that was something I experienced. I am not beating myself up about it, I kept holy the Sabbath by praying, reading the readings at home, and being kind to myself and my family. I am not holding myself up to a standard of perfection. I am glad that my symptoms have calmed down and to have more energy to attend regularly again.



This is such an exciting time, and I am happy to share this with you guys! If you are pregnant too, let me know how first trimester is going! I will be praying for you and your growing families.

Surprise!

Today I am so excited to share that baby #2 is on the way! We could not feel more blessed. Hopefully this explains my absence here, and in person (ha). I have been a hermit lately because first trimester with a toddler really wore me out, and because I am showing a lot earlier this time around.

Often people share an exciting anecdote about how they found out they were pregnant, but I feel my story is relatively boring. I am very lucky (and trust me, I don't take it for granted) that I have never struggled with infertility, even with irregular cycles. I have certainly had times where I thought I may be pregnant due to those irregular cycles and was not. However, when we have tried to conceive we have been able to fairly quickly. My husband and I knew we wanted children close together, assumed it would take a while, and did nothing to prevent/avoid pregnancy for a couple of months. When I weaned my daughter off of breastfeeding we decided to try that cycle. Turns out it only took one cycle to conceive - same as our first child! We are thrilled that we are adding a new member so quickly.

I can't wait to share more about my first trimester/overall experience with this pregnancy. It has been extremely difficult to keep this secret, because we have wanted to shout it from the rooftops! It was always our plan to have children close in age, but I will admit I am nervous to have two under two years old. I will certainly be relying on my family and friends to keep sane!

Little baby, you are already so loved. We can't wait to meet you.